© Harold Midfella’s Scenes of a Meltdown

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Redacting the Light

Who killed Kennedy? Well, from Oswald to Cuba to the mob to the CIA, answers obviously vary…but since the assassination of 35th US President, now 41 years ago, recent Gallup Polls demonstrate that 61% of Americans polled possess an opinion that is doubtful of the official story cited in the Warren Report.

Whatever the truth is, what people want, more so than any other reason, is honesty — a clear answer. If certain elements of the government and its financial cronies are not behind the assassination of Kennedy, then why is it that stacks of redacted documents are all that are issued to independant investigators through the Freedom of Information Act? It appears a touch incriminating when the government refuses allow people to prove anything other than what the Warren Report endorses, providing only insulting sheets of blacked-out information to the people those of whom request them.

This makes people not trust the government — and it is perfectly sane to doubt every story it sells to the people. For similar reasons, chemtrails and the government’s consistent denial of their obvious existence, has more and more people wondering whether or not they are being lied to, and, more importantly, why they are being lied to.

Whether it be to reduce climate change, modify and control weather patterns, shroud people’s ability to see the impeding encroachment of an unknown planet or comet or to create radical famines by killing off plant life in order to de-populate the earth, the fact of the matter is that chemtrails, part of the geo-engineering being conducted by HAARP, are 100% real and are quilting the skies from Maryland to D.C., Florida to Illinois, Colorado to Oregon.

It is quite alarming that, for whatever the reason(s), this is being kept quiet from the public — not even though, but, rather, because, the chemicals being used, such as barium (an extremely toxic metal), are probably causing the people in this country to become sick in various ways.

Perhaps the chronic cancer epidemic’s cause “lies” in these trails. Perhaps they can and have been used as a weapon in such places as Vietnam. There are records that date back as far as 1966 (http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/a-recomended-national-program-in-weather-modification-icas-report-10a/) that condone the manipulation of the weather, which is less than 3 years after Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. Would he have allowed geo-engineering? Maybe certain people were not willing to find out.

The Culture of a Killer

Without there being a general understanding amongst people and the cultures they live in, they are inclined to perish in the grip of their vices. Randolph Sebastian knows this, and feels he has found a way to fix the problems of humanity — by murdering it.

Categories: Culture, Fiction Tags: ,

Scenes of a Meltdown

What if the world changed over night and everything there is to know and understand about the world changed because of an economic crash? Well, for different people the circumstances have different effects, and how people deal with them depends greatly on the circumstances themselves. This story tells of one event and its effect on the lives of people representing 3 separate classes.

Apathetic Electors

It comes as little surprise that the meager 36.9 percent of people who actually did vote on November 4th, 2014 voted in a republican Congress. Although it was predictably foreseen, it remains puzzling that the American people, many of whom are merely a debt away from the dole, would run into the un-welcoming arms of the republicans, who make a lack of empathy a visible party line philosophy.

It should be clear by now, presumably, just how the game is played in politics. For example, it should be obvious that, through the bidding chimes of lobbyists, Congress has been bought out by financial interests whose primary concerns are not that of voters. It is simply strategic on the part of Congress, as its members are well aware how to keep things in Washington from evening out: convincing people that the only way to escape the rancid, underhanded tactics of the democrats is to vote in lunatic republicans.

Have so many previous Obama supporters already forgotten about the ludicrous disaster that was the Bush administration? Amnesia seems to be a horrible affliction of the ubiquitous American psyche, and the lackig realization that voting lacks results in this country worsens this affliction, because an ill system needs to purge its toxins, not replace them with an equally poisonous venom. A systematic cleanse does not require violence, but it also is not requisite of compliance, but, rather, persistent resistance. It is counterproductive to progress to use voting as a way to correct a system that has become anything but democratic, making voting akin to that of paying homage to BS, and evidently a greater number of people are beginning to see this — as they did not vote.

The probability is that the overall number of eligible voters who failed to visit their polling places has more to do with a general lack of understanding or care among people for civic responsibility, which is unfortunate…then again, why should any of those people who are well informed about the world they’re living in, and who are empirically aware that “truth” is merely conceptual, thus an existential illusion, have faith in its existence? Participation in an obvious illusion displays that the societal maturity of this country is reminiscent of a teenager who still truly believes that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real. When flipping the switch fails to provide lucidity, it is time to change the bulb.

The Culture of a Killer

Without there being a general understanding amongst people and the cultures they live in, they are inclined to perish in the grip of their vices. Randolph Sebastian knows this, and feels he has found a way to fix the problems of humanity — by murdering it.

Scenes of a Meltdown

Easing into the War Economy

September 14, 2014 Leave a comment

Quantitative easing is to end in October, according to Fed Chair Janet Yellen. We are “at war” with ISIS, according to the Whitehouse, so to appease the republicans, who, as usual, want to spend absurd amounts of money on defense, which will allow for the democrats to come up with a new name for quantitative easing.

And all of this so they can continue to print worthless dollars to keep the economy from collapsing — at least, plausibly, for a couple of years, because the president wants to evade his complicity in the crash and would rather the next administration take the majority of the blame for it.

This is why there is no real difference between republicans and democrats, as both political bodies merely promote the idea of democracy in the disguise of standard ideals, to wit — pro-life vs. pro-choice, gun enthusiasm vs. gun control … etc. The upshot is that these people work together behind the media scenes, but while under the spotlight they put on a perpetual act that makes it seem as though they work against each other.

This democratic process, as explained, is a delusion the people want to think is still alive in America. The reality is that, as Major General Smedley Butler famously asserted: “War is a Racket,” and the dynamics between these 2 dominant political bodies are skilled at manufacturing them in order to serve the interests of both the arms and banking industries.

Yet the propaganda is not very opaque — it is an overt action, really, that the rhetoric being used to sell this war sounds tremendously similar to the “they have WMDs ” talk of ’03. And so more people, it is safe to assume, will be sacrificed for the sake of an imaginary conflict that only becomes real when they get there, completely unaware as to why and for the sake of whom they are fighting.

Telling Stories

I have on occasion discussed the merit of what I call “reasonable speculation” so that I might divulge what is distinctive about it when compared with “pure speculation. ” I have also remarked that, though different, the the latter develops out of former version of speculation.

An instance in which I used 9/11 and the mysterious and questionable circumstances surrounding the official version of the events concerning it as way to illustrate why having reason to speculate is reasonable, is where I attempted to explore and explain, compare and contrast them.

I will not get into 9/11 here, but merely try to convey the idea that “pure speculation” has its place, and that sometimes a conspiracy theory is really just an insight into what actually occurred, and based on what is most likely to be the case.

Suppose, for example, that there is a house, and inside that house are 3 separate people — 1 mother and her 2 kids (a boy and a girl). The mother is in her bedroom when a sudden crash disrupts her attention. Something is not satisfactory about this particular noise, she wonders if her kids are hurt.

These notions wading in her thoughts cajole her to worry, and she runs out of the room. She then finds her children in the living room and asks them about the noise, of which each claims to know nothing. She is suspicious of this being so because she knows that she clearly heard the sound of shattering glass or something akin to it, and begins to look around the room, when she spies that a statue of Jesus Christ that has been in her family for generations is missing from the shelf she keeps it on.

She asks them where the statue is, as with the crash, they explain to her that they have no knowledge concerning the statue’s whereabouts. Now she has very good reason to suspect that ,1) they’re lying and, 2), due to the fact that the noise resembled breaking glass, that the statue is broken and the evidence hidden. Either the girl and boy are both responsible for the breaking of the statue and/or conspiring to cover the incident up, or that 1 of the 2 is culpable — but that both, due to their unusual states of character,have knowledge concerning the truth.

Would this hold up in a court of law? Well, reasonable doubt is taken seriously when deciding the guilt or innocence of a person in court of law, but “reasonable speculation” appears to be more visceral and common in most people. The fact the her kids were the only people other than herself in the house engenders the contention that they know what happened, and that they’re apprehensive about telling her the truth. Though she can’t prove, necessarily, what took place, the circumstantial evidence involved in the situation on its own is enough for her to declare their story to be bullshit.

Trendy Rebellions

It may not yet be fully understood just exactly what the meaning behind the current age is, but it is not a meager insight to conform to the notion that it is indeed a meaningful age. Not since the 1930s has the United States and the world seen such a cultural divide among the masses grow to the extent that it presently has, nor has the economy been so dysfunctional — so geographically massive. Everyday the lives of citizens, US citizens, are becoming increasingly damaged by stresses that have emerged from economic problems that were seemingly forbidden in America until recently — or since the ’30s.

Why this is comes down to the determinations of a great many people, leaving their observers to come under the impression that there is no one left to trust — merely biases to peddle to those seeking answers to the tense situation building among the varying classes and beliefs. A cultural war is developing, it appears, but just how drastically it will elevate is questionable.

The current age, so referred to here, has been assigned a position in history that is difficult to play, but, albeit, to announce an outcome to it before it has reached its conclusion is an act of fallacious commentary. The future has not yet been arrived at, and the present is, if the realities in it are to be understood, contingent upon an age with which to compare it to. The only phenomena, then, that can explain the present to the inhabitants living in the space of the present resides in times past.

The era of “past” that is sponsoring this attempt, the 1930’s, has already proclaimed its duty to the present here in former references, but just what is to be said about them? It is not as if this comparison between today’s recession and The Great Depression is anything new, but it is perhaps not always clear to a large share of the people actively forming the present political atmosphere that their knowledge is deficient in empirical understanding.

This observation having been rendered, what can be obtained by comparing the ’30 s and today? Well, the economic comparisons are obvious, and apart from great technological advances available in the current age there is most certainly not much difference in terms of there existing a swelling impoverishment among various classes of people. But where is it that this notion is most overt to the senses? Who is its most potent purveyor? The media and press — whether mainstream or new, of course, are those shills. But what of art? What of philosophy? The function of the humanities is, after all, crucial to any recorded age in history that wishes to keep its lights on, as it were.

George Orwell, whose artistic and polemical prose was to engage humanity very powerfully with Animal Farm and 1984, wrote, in 1940, a lengthy essay called “Inside the Whale.” The piece begins with a literary criticism of Henry Miller’s “Tropic of Cancer” in order to segue into a comparison between the political literature of the 1920s and 1930s, and how it was evident that the popular literature during the ’30s was inclined to make Marxist and leftist idealism a dogmatic fad, lest an author of the time matter. Miller Is ultimately a muse throughout, and for several reasons.

For example, Orwell held Miller to represent the common person’s passive attention to the political environment, and declared “Tropic of Cancer” to be the sine qua non for the apolitical outlook, in that Miller did not use his literary prowess to confront or challenge the politics of his time with his personal views — making him a political nihilist devoid of any sense of obligation or necessary participation.

The citizens of Italy during 1920s, for instance, did not vastly possess an obligation in understanding the issues taking place around them. Every system’s opposition is always made up of minority factions. Most of the population consisted of people too deeply involved in the perpetual intent to juke poverty to be resistant to any energetic, seemingly indomitable, zealot hell bent on obtaining power. The Italians were transformed culturally by the Fascist state of Mussolini (a man infused with fanatical passions, his influence over people was greatly due to a mass lack of knowledge concerning the polity of their nation.

The Biblical tale of Jonah and the Whale is also used by Orwell to suggest that people on the whole, once captive in any given environment, such as being forced to accept living inside a whale/fish from which no escape seemed possible, will eventually, on the whole, become obediently submissive to their fated situations.

Chris Hedges, Word Changer

In an article published by New Republic Magazine entitled “The Troubling Case of Chris Hedges” (http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118114/chris-hedges-pulitzer-winner-lefty-hero-plagiarist), it is being alleged that popular author and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Chris Hedges of Truthdig.com has plagiarized material belonging to several different journalists and authors such as Canadian activist Naomi Klein and American novelist Ernest Hemingway.

The uncovering of the suspected plagiarized content was made by a fact-checker at Harper’s Magazine assigned to a manuscript by Hedges in which he encountered potentially plagiarized words in it after reading an article by Matt Katz of the Philadelphia Inquirer on poverty in Camden. Ultimately, Harper’s Magazine decided against publishing Hedges’s piece.

The discovery of this news leads me to confirm that I needn’t say very much in order to express my deep disappointment, but having said that, I can express more.

I am neither to the left nor the right, but it is unusual that I can stomach many of the liberal writers of today — most of them neo-liberal bloggers. But Chris Hedges is exception to this in the tradition that George Orwell is.

Liberal writers, I have noticed, are much of the time just Hunter S. Thompson wannabes, but the majority of them do not possess the talent that Thompson did, because they would refrain from trying to write like him if they had any, as talent is not inclined to feel satisfied in replicating preexisting achievements.

Most of the liberal and leftist writers of the age merely have agendas to promote, use hardly what is considered to be tactful polemics and often resort to a heavy usage of insults in order to advance their beliefs.

Many just post memes (something I am beginning to find insufferable), which demonstrates the agenda bias. “Fuck him and her and them and any republican or conservative belief or action” is usually the message their pieces convey.

But Hedges, like Thompson and Orwell were, is able to see the bigger picture, and all 3 writers have been just as critical about left-wing politics as they have right-wing — which is why I admire them.

But, and having myself been plagiarized, I find it dlifficult to respect Hedges any longer — if the charges are true, of course. The very notion that he is a plagiarist being true is itself very unfortunate, akin to the way Lance Armstrong fans felt, I imagine, and it is because he is prone to attack the right people: the corporate and Washington elite.

He takes them on, denounces their authority and displays a genuine disgust for these people. Being that he is a valuable intellectual and a crafty polemicist, he is effective in making serious points about the fascist activities on which the 2 elitist entities have jointly embarked. He has done much foreign correspondence, won many awards. He is respected, hence.

He is also not fooled by Obama, whereas many liberal writers are at present, although many of this kind oppose Hedges. But it is sufficient to determine that he draws readers from both sides, yet resonates most with Marxists and anarchists of varying extremes. Most importantly, and because of his achievements in journalism, he gives the oppressed masses a voice — because he is listened to.

Albeit, the accusations of Hedges being a plagiarist, if they are true — and I fear they may be, and this in spite of the fact that Christopher Ketcham — the author who wrote the long piece for the New Republic, a piece that both Salon and The American Prospect, and for reasons which are unclear, passed on — is married to another journalist, Petra Bartosiewicz, who was also apparently ripped off by Hedges.

But this doesn’t mean the charges are false, even if the corporate media is seeking to shut him up because he poses a valid threat to it. The proprietors of the media and press are plutocratic capitalists, after all, and will seize upon and exploit the plagiarism claim in order to make him do so — whether he is guilty or not.

The most significant and ironic point concerning this, though, is that if the assertions made against Hedges are indeed true, they have until this point been knowingly overlooked by his editors and publishers, which means he is getting away with something that other writers wouldn’t, just like a Wall Street CEO is never punished for committing the most terrible and unethical crimes. That is to say, he is an elitist in the world of journalism.

The Debt is Set to Blow

Has the United States become a system poised to forever bear the burdens of debt? It is surely accurate to assert that such a task is much too difficult to accomplish. So the answer to the question seated in the former is that the system will at some point weaken and might collapse.

The debt is so heavy at this point that it cannot possibly be upheld. This is because the “solution” to the to the problem is not worthy of the a moniker. The “solution” is to infect the infected by way of quantitative easing, which is nothing more than money created out of debt held in bonds that are purchased by the Fed at the cost of 85 billion dollars a month until January of 2014.

This money is equipped to travel way beyond any realistic boundaries, because ethical economic guidelines have long since been a levied tax the government is unwilling to pay. What the government essentially does in order to maintain the economic illusion is not very different than someone spending loaned money and not paying it back to the lender.

Instead, the government just gets another lender to finance its debt — but it does not pay back the debt with the funds it borrows. In reality it just allocates it to various facets of the system, where it is spent — making it necessary to borrow more money.

This is a trend of bad consequences, as it has been throughout recorded history. The French Revolutionaries would not have found themselves drinking the blood of Louis XVI in the streets of Paris had they not suffered a long era of famine, after all. The debasement of currency means the displacement of society.

This usually provokes public ado, and force is traditionally the measure used in place of persuasion when maintaining the conditions of a broken and hostile society. Its use is akin to that of bombing commodity lucrative countries that use a monetary policy the Fed is unable to gain control over. No matter what, power needs to dictate.

Past is Present

Not everyone is apt to notice the enormous changes taking place in the United States, yet the effects of them can, as one struggles to make meager ends meet, be palpably discerned. Sometimes all one need do is stop and look at the world he or she seeing and question things for a minute.

“Why is it I work so much and have nothing?”… “Why, after years of schooling, am I working a job that requires that I apply none of the skills that I’ve acquired?”…”Why is it that the government suddenly feels the need to take care of me as though it knows me and what my personal needs are — or that it sincerely cares about what my needs are?” “Furthermore, why is it so interested about my Internet activity?” “Why is it that I am not allowed to determine where I am to stand in this world?”

These questions will not be appropriately answered, because it is not the people’s business to know the answers to them. This is, of course, paradoxical and might pique one’s interest to yearn for an explanation as to why, though no approval was given to the government by the people do so, it feels it has the right to spy on its citizens. In order to find answers to the above posed queries, history is the best place to investigate, because those presently at the helm will not expose the truth.

Neither the NSA nor any other limb of the government was conceived, as history mentions, to put the citizens it claims to protect and be subservient to under scrutiny — or at least that’s the word. Yet the more one ponders these questions, the easier it becomes to understand that perhaps the government is only protecting the interests of certain citizens, in that it is protecting its corporate citizenry — not the citizenry of the people. Because, as per Amendment XIV, corporations are considered just that — citizens.

The language regarding the American people was altered from the moment the 14th was adopted to the US Constitution in 1868 to refer to people as citizens, as to accommodate space for the idea that corporations were to also be considered citizens. And here begins the hegemony of what would ultimately become corporate dominance in the 21st century.

But societal control is no new form of lust, and the ancient historical text of Plato’s Republic can dignify this assertion. In the book it can be early understood that Socrates is suggesting in a dialectical way how to construct the perfect city (State), which in Plato’s mind means establishing a firm set of guidelines for all of the city’s people to live by.

This hypothetical city’s (a Utopia called Kallipolis that was to be presided over by philosopher kings) guidelines consisted of: indoctrination of the youth, doing away with poetry and art, propaganda (noble lies) and excluding any of whom did not fit the standards of being or becoming that of a Socratic letterman.

Of course when both Hitler and Stalin would much later in history discourse the realities of such a system, what resulted was the unveiling of the fact that no such system could exist without becoming tyrannical and genocidal.

Today, political and economic distress is taking place globally. And all signs warn that a worldwide dystopia is forming, that an economic collapse is on the loom and that fascism is back in fashion. If so, the times that humanity is to confront in the soon-approaching future will likely be difficult and perilous for the masses.

During Plato’s time, the destruction of democracy was open to bared eyes, he knew this and, being the extremist he was, devised what he considered to be an ideal society, living under the ideals of what he himself concluded was just. Submitting to totalitarianism has proven to be what human beings do when the existing system slowly deteriorates into ruin.

Today, it is the corporations and governments in this world that consider themselves the philosopher kings, who know what’s better for the rest of the people, and who make decisions about what is and is not ideal for the people. The issue is, though, that there is nothing ideal about slavery, extinguishing civil liberties and inhumanity.

March Madness, 2014

March Madness happens every year. But in March of 2014 it may very well be the case that college basketball teams in the NCAA are not the cause of the madness. Instead, it might be reasonable suspect teams like the Bears and the Bulls to helm the charge of this very possible oncoming pandemonium — and not the ones from Chicago either.

Rather, it will be those that roam the corridors of Wall Street. The bookies in the firms lining New York’s financial sector will be making hysterical bets of sizable proportions if something suddenly urges the economy to crash, like a run on a major commercial bank.

If so, all bets will likely be bearish in character when it comes to the economy, because the injuries to it have not be given proper care — just a shot of steroidal numbness lest the game continue.

Yet certain investments, such as in gold, silver and other precious and semi-precious metals (copper), or in foreign currencies like the Russian Ruble, with likely be bullish wagers. The tail risk and moral hazards exist because, and declare as a result, that no bet is a lock.

Still, there are of course those who seem to think that QE measures are actually curing the injury, that there is real economic growth holding up the numbers, but the matter is as juiced up as Barry Bond’s home run records, in that the numbers have been fabricated and grossly inflated by the invented strength faux funds.

And just as in the case of Lance Armstrong and his arrogantly boasted recovery, none has been received at all, and the chance of recovery is as banished as Pete Rose is from baseball. The dollar is on its way to being banned from competition, and Charlie cannot keep up the hustle much longer.

What exactly will cause the collapse is not a privy notion, as debt mines are everywhere, and tripping over any of these many wired grounds will ultimately lead to a fall. Regardless, the stats are backed by nothing but debt and are the equivalent to betting on a limping horse.

For now it remains unclear as to when this global madness will formulate its fruition. Though, as has been reported by certain people like onetime Harvard Professor of Economics Terry Burnham, it may just take place in March, 2014, but the Fed has yet to pitch its last play. When it does happen, however, madness is surely a lock.

The Health of a Dynasty is Depedent on the Public

It seems as though, presently, because of the government’s fondness for its corporate offspring and all their massive success and affluence around the world, that its other begotten citizens have ceased to be distinguished as people.

The durable knit of relationships between government and corporations has cast off the rest society and orphaned it to serve this Cinderella State and the list of chores determined by its step-siblings in the 14th Amendment.

Obamacare, then, being that it is big citizen taking from small citizen under the guise of governmental demand, cannot be considered socialized medicine, as that would require the efforts of socialism to be at work. Socialism, as it so often has been, is merely a red herring.

The fact that one is required by the State to buy health insurance from private institutions demonstrates that the Affordable Care Act is merely cronyism between the State and its favored class of children, but the State would be the sole health provider if it were actually socialism.

But what is actually happening is wholly different. What can be seen, ultimately, is yet another glimpse at the development of totalitarianism in America. Fascist implementations do not adhere to the liberty of the individual, but to the liberty of the crooks — big brothers preying on the vulnerabilities of their siblings.

Yet in order to protest the mandates of the government, one must take the issue to the businesses that contrived the reasoning behind the issuing of them.  To wit: make the grievances bad for business, not for government.

Large numbers of people voicing displeasure with a specific corporation for a specific and significant reason will threaten its profit margin — which is its sole concern. The baker contends that bread requires dough to bake it, after all, but without demand for bread, the oven is rendered useless.

Duck Dynasty fans, for instance, made business bad for Cracker Barrel when it removed merchandise representing the show from its Country Store shelves, after a member of the Dynasty cast made what are to manly inflammatory statements conversing homosexuality.

The show’s fans proved dismayed over the actions taken, however, and the aggressive posturing of the show’s fan base toward Cracker Barrel’s politically correct PR grab led the restaurant-chain to worry more about losing profits, and it promptly changed its mind.

The government is elderly and dependent on its legacies to nurture its continued survival, but the corporate kids were given over the assets of the estate in its living will, and unless they are somehow made to change their minds, the government will continue to allow them to live in the estate’s luxuries until they burn the place down.

Matters in Mania

On the morning of February 2, 2006, I awoke to a frantic vision — in that it was blurry. Not blurry in the sense that I could rinse it away with water or clear it up with with a few days of drops and antibiotics — medicines a doctor would prescribe for eye ailments like conjunctivitis — but blurry like nothing that I, or anyone else, as I would find, could explain. It was a feeling too strange to welcome, and even the biggest junkie would find reason to condemn its qualities as being that of greatly unsatisfactory. Too strange, indeed — an anti-high — a demented malaise — a wrong turn into a dark forested labyrinth that led to deeper labyrinths…confusing labyrinths…deeper, harsher layers of hell — and I, the pilgrim, ventured down them. Yet as I made my descent, I encountered no doctor that was a fit bard to seek advice from.

Due to the excessive amount of oddness I was enraptured with, I, after a few hours, started to panic. My level of malignant fright was inconsolable at this point, insofar as it developed into what was to be my first (not last) panic attack, which consisted of my muscles stiffening, my heart racing and pounding and my wits shattering into fragmented snaps that revealed only broken glimpses of the world human beings are designed to witness. It was as though I alone, the somber pilgrim, was drilling down into these depths of esoteric sake — journeying all the way to the nexus of hell — as though straight through and to the heart of the Kantian prohibition. I was embedded in some nominal world, seeing the perceptual said realities in a way that was conceptually unrealistic.

At this, I was taken to the emergency room of a local hospital. Being in the hospital is, of course, not something I consider to be a good time, but I felt — amid my conscious fear — a bit better that I would soon see a doctor. “Surely the doctor has come across this situation in the past and will instruct me on what to do,” I suspected — yet my hopeful suspicions were disappointed. The doctor (a smug fucker) was no help at all and incorrectly recognized my symptoms to resemble that of a sinus infection. Right from the start I felt unsure about what this doctor had concluded, but I hoped he was right. After all, albeit doubted in my guts, I’d never had a sinus infection before then. But when I took the antibiotics that he’d prescribed to me, I descended quickly down into an even deeper level of this hell, where I felt worse than ever before. Due to the effects I experienced on the antibiotics, I began to realize that the doctor’s diagnosis was invalid. This is when I first understood that fears in my guts were true — that what I was experiencing was no sinus infection. The reality was that my psychiatric medications had turned on me.

I ended up on these psych-drugs when I was 17 years old, 6 years prior to my entering the lobby grounds of the hellish dark forest that I described above — as I had struggled with enormous bouts of ongoing depression and mood alterations during that period. But never once during all those years did doctors mention to me what may result down the line because of the meds they were prescribing to me. In fact, most of them told me what doctors are instructed by drug representatives to tell patients: that they were both safe and not at all addictive. These boasts, though, are wholly untrue. I do not say this to dissuade anyone from taking these drugs, as another’s choice is not mine to make, but to simply render a counter to the claim that psychiatric medications are devoid of addictive qualities. These drugs are very addictive: SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptic medications, Lithium, etc., though it is conceded to by pharmaceutical companies that benzodiazepines like Xanax are addictive, the case is not so with these other medications.

The fact that one experiences a physical withdrawal after discontinuing the drugs, though, provides in it enough evident factors to allow room to surmise that they are addictive. I myself, the pilgrim, ventured the down the more disturbing landscapes of this hell –a hell that seemed to get worse by the mile. The withdrawal carried within it such torment that no end to its pernicious histrionics seemed possible after a while — as withdrawal symptoms plagued me for literally over a year and a half. And throughout all that time I made various attempts to find aid, but it was buried in no layer of the soils I turned my hand to till. A neurologist; a cardiologist; shrinks; hospitals; medical physicians in private practice — all of whom I visited, all of whom were broke as far as answers go, and I was making out about as well as a panhandler working a homeless shelter.

After months and months of poring over literature concerning these medications and learning nearly everything about them, I decided that the only way to quell these withdrawals was to get back on meds — so it was that I bargained with Satin, getting back on meds as long as it was a regimen that I concocted. This was made to be so, and I, feeling better presently — being that my addiction to psych-meds has been reestablished — still continue on my pilgrimage — every once in a while waking up with brain zaps (one of the many withdrawal symptoms in which the electronic firings of neurotransmitters can be felt running throughout the head and body), and although they diminish quickly and are with me hardly, it is this periodic residual anguish, if nothing else, that reminds me that I remain in Purgatory.

The Morbid Odor of Teenaged Ghosts

It has now been 19 years since Kurt Cobain’s suicide in April, 1994, and I have recently, and coincidentally, finished reading former Seattle rag (the Rocket) journalist Charles R. Cross’s biography on Cobain. In Heavier Than Heaven (2001), the title of the book, Cross takes the reader closer to Kurt than anyone else has been able to. His approach is not neo-journalistic, yet his technique is none the less more journalistic than that of the typical biography. He weaves together a well put together, linear and matter-of-fact chronology. The story Cross tells is obviously an achievement of Orwellian infiltration into Kurt’s life, yet he does so in a non-participatory way, like Truman Capote. The narration is more George Orwell’s Wigan Pier (the first part) than Capote’s In Cold Blood, in the sense of reportage, but it is more Capote in terms of objective narration, voice, tone and perspective.

Cross provides an interesting insight into who Kurt Cobain was and what his overall state of being throughout the course of his entire life was; what his relationship with his wife Courtney Love was like — with his band mates, his friends, his family, his daughter; what the meanings behind a good deal of the messages crocheted into his song lyrics meant ; as well as unveiling untold catastrophes involving his addiction to heroin — the Something in the Way.

Nirvana was the leader of a revolution, and what can be obtained from it is an understanding of how revolutions eventually, once powerful and established, crumble if their head have nodding captains pertaining to the helm.

Kurt was forever changed by his parents “legendary divorce,” though he unfortunately was a junkie before he regained, rediscovered and expanded things like his family, his fame — his what were seemingly redemptive acquisitions that conditioned his mentality. But his addiction had already taken the role of care tender, so his medicine became an enemy to the particulars, like his love for his daughter Frances Bean, that would have meant — did mean — more to him than anything else — and it seems as though he felt that it was far too late for him to turn back — thus, he contained the notion that he could not provide the life for her he wanted to.

This understanding was just another sense of failure for Kurt, and his stillborn inner child forever made him incapable of accepting the terms of adulthood. He was, leading up to the time of his death, a morbidly obese man traveling at high altitudes in a hot air balloon with low fuel for keeping the flame lit. The anti-climatic irony vividly sensed in Heavier Than Heaven, is that Kurt got everything he wanted after he was no longer in any condition to appreciate what he wanted.  Like the “heads” of the French Revolution, he was a victim of his own enlightenment.

Trendy Rebellions

Originally posted on © Harold Midfella's Q. Review:

It may not yet be fully understood just exactly what the meaning behind the current age is, but it is not a meager insight to conform to the notion that it is indeed a meaningful age. Not since the 1930s has the United States and the world seen such a cultural divide among the masses grow to the extent that it presently has, nor has the economy been so dysfunctional — so geographically massive. Everyday the lives of citizens, US citizens, are becoming increasingly damaged by stresses that have emerged from economic problems that were seemingly forbidden in America until recently — or since the ’30s.

Why this is comes down to the determinations of a great many people, leaving their observers to come under the impression that there is no one left to trust — merely biases to peddle to those seeking answers to the tense situation building among…

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As Fictional as Reality

Originally posted on © Harold Midfella's Q. Review:

Ironically enough, it was on September 11, 2008 that the Wall Street titan, Lehman Brothers, an investment bank whose salad days date back to late 19th century, began to bleed out millions of dollars per minute. Only 2 days later, this massive bank, who had navigated its way through the Great Depression, declared bankruptcy, and thousands of employees of the firm lost their jobs, not to mention the societal instability due to the debasement of the economy and the investors who lost their money .

In order to replicate a generic image that holds stock in and is representative of (symbolically), the value of many realities, is contained in that of a man who goes by the name of Clive Rivers, whose tale is fabricated to play out the way it has for many others in America today.

Clive’s troubles derived from shares in stocks he had purchased that were…

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Apathetic Electors

Originally posted on © Harold Midfella's Q. Review:

It comes as little surprise that the meager 36.9 percent of people who actually did vote on November 4th, 2014 voted in a republican Congress. Although it was predictably foreseen, it remains puzzling that the American people, many of whom are merely a debt away from the dole, would run into the un-welcoming arms of the republicans, who make a lack of empathy a visible party line philosophy.

It should be clear by now, presumably, just how the game is played in politics. For example, it should be obvious that, through the bidding chimes of lobbyists, Congress has been bought out by financial interests whose primary concerns are not that of voters. It is simply strategic on the part of Congress, as its members are well aware how to keep things in Washington from evening out: convincing people that the only way to escape the rancid, underhanded tactics of the…

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Redacting the Light

Originally posted on © Harold Midfella's Q. Review:

Who killed Kennedy? Well, from Oswald to Cuba to the mob to the CIA, answers obviously vary…but since the assassination of 35th US President, now 41 years ago, recent Gallup Polls demonstrate that 61% of Americans polled possess the opinion that is doubtful of the official story cited in the Warren Report.

Whatever the truth is, what people want, more so than any other reason, is honesty — a clear answer. If certain elements of the government and its financial cronies are behind Kennedy’s murder would appreciate it if they did not receive stacks of redacted documents through the Freedom of Information Act. It appears a touch incriminating when the government refuses allow people to prove anything other than what the Warren Report endorses, providing only insulting sheets of blacked-out information.

This makes people not trust the government — and it is perfectly sane to doubt every story it sells…

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Scenes of a Meltdown

Originally posted on © Harold Midfella's Q. Review:

What if the world changed over night and everything there is to know and understand about the world changed because of an economic crash? Well, for different people the circumstances have different effects, and how people deal with them depends greatly on the circumstances themselves. This story tells of one event and its effect on the lives of people representing 3 separate classes.

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